My Dearest Dear
Mary Sands
My Dearest Dear (No. 77, page 13 ii)
I never heard My Dearest Dear as a child. When my grandfather Ervin, Mother’s father, lay dying in the hospital in 1998, she ‘caught’ some lyrics in her mind from Doug Wallin’s version of The Time Draws Near. She later referred to Cecil Sharp’s book to be reminded of the full song and found Mary Sands’ version of My Dearest Dear. For mother and me, ballads not only tell stories, they also define moments in time and help us to deal with strong emotions. When I am mad at my husband I sing I Never Will Marry, and when I am feeling particularly powerful and sassy, I sing Farmer’s Curst Wife. Mother felt the power in My Dearest Dear during a crushing and unexpected death…and it helped her to cope. My Dearest Dear is now our go to when someone has passed and we want to take a moment to honor and remember them. When I sing this song, I close my eyes and my heart fills with love and longing, I can feel it pulsing through my veins.
My Dearest Dear was collected by Mary Sands, my maternal grandmother’s aunt…my great, great aunt…on the day of my grandmother’s birth, August 5, 1916. Actually, it was the ONLY version collected by Cecil Sharp. There are more versions of My Dearest Dear’s’ sister song, The True Lover’s Farewell, No. 114, page 113 ii.
The new verse I am adding to my version came from Tommy Jarrell, a fiddle and banjo player extraordinaire from Mount Airy, NC. Mother and I spent a lot of time with Tommy in the 70’s and I have fond memories of listening to the amazing music that happened there. I fell in love with Bruce Molsky then and he became my favorite fiddle player for LIFE (although I now also include my brother in law, fiddle player Casey Driessen). Given that mother learned banjo from Tommy and Bruce learned fiddle from Tommy, I’ve always thought that they were the perfect match, a symbiosis of sound. It has been many years (maybe 20? 25?) since I have heard them together, but I still remember quite clearly the absolute chills it brought me. I would like to put that out into the universe…Mother, can you and Bruce PLEASE do a Tommy Jarrell compilation before it is too late?! And can I sit in on every second?!